May
I be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday?
I was not the first to greet you on that
brilliant, magnificent day 18 years ago when you entered the world and changed
my life forever. There were medical personnel (who I am eternally grateful for)
who rushed you out of my tummy and off to be checked and re-checked before I
even had a chance to hold you. Your Dad followed you around while they tested
you and bathed you and made sure you were okay. I waited in the recovery room
while the nurses brought me updates – your height and weight, your APGAR score,
etc. Finally, they brought me to my own hospital room and told me you would be
in shortly.
Can I just tell you that the second they put you
in my arms was the most magical moment I have ever experienced? There isn’t
even a close second. There are no words to describe the instant bond, the
overwhelming love, and the ferocious desire to protect and nurture. You looked
right into my eyes and I said audibly what my heart had been singing since the
second you were born: “We’ve been waiting for you.”
Tomorrow you turn 18. You are poised at the edge
of young adulthood. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings: I am so
very proud of you. I am so grateful for these wonderful, amazing years. I have
regrets about the many areas where I could have been a better Mom. But all of
those emotions pale in comparison to the overwhelming AWE I feel at having had
a front-row seat to watch you become the person you are today. To see how all the joys, sorrows, laughter,
tears, accomplishments, disappointments, and victories have shaped you into
this beautiful mixture of exactly who God created you to be.
My precious daughter, not a moment of your life
has been wasted. God has used every second. You have trusted Him and leaned in
to Him. He has never let go of you, and you have never let go of Him. Never
lose sight of what an amazing blessing that is. Life will not always be easy
(you are already well aware of this truth) but it is a little less painful when
you remember that He never lets go of you.
So may I just say that it has been an absolute
privilege and the joy of my life to be your Mom? You have brought joy and hope
and purpose to my life. (Not to mention music, laughter, and silliness.) And
with every breath, with every heartbeat, I say a prayer of gratitude that God
gave me you.
18 years ago, I whispered to you: “We’ve been
waiting for you.” And now, on the eve of your eighteenth birthday, I want to
tell you this: “The world is waiting for you.” The world needs your strength,
your passion, your love, your compassion. God has uniquely gifted you “for such
a time as this.” And so with open arms and a grateful heart, I release you into
this crazy, mixed-up, beautiful world of ours, knowing that I have done my best
and that God is gracious enough to fill in the gaps and cover my shortcomings
with His love.
I am your biggest cheerleader, your number-one fan,
your soft place to land, and the place you can always come home to. Thank you
for teaching me to trust wholeheartedly, to love with abandon, and to keep a
song in my heart.
Being your Mom has changed me in all of the best possible ways. And you
are one of the bravest people I know. Your birthday will always be one of my
greatest reasons to rejoice.
You are doing with your life what only you
could do. And THAT is brave.” -- Annie Downs
